Demons and Dragons
by Ryoukko-kai
Summary: Koenma, Jorge, Boton, and Enma play Dungeons and Dragons. And thus, we see how Touya really lost his fight with Kurama. Those of you who don't know much about D&D probably won't get the references. Oneshot


Koenma, Jorge, Boton, and Enma decide to play Dungeons and Dragons. My take on the _real_ reason Touya lost his fight with Kurama. Probably won't be funny or make any sense to anyone who hasn't played D&D, or someone who doesn't know the rules or whatever.

* * *

Koenma, Jorge the ogre, Boton, and Enma sat around a table in Spirit World. The curtains were pulled down in the room, and the door was locked to keep others out. At first, it appeared as though they were having a business meeting, since papers and books were laid out on the table, and they were focused intently on the sheets in front of them. However, if an observer were to look closer, they would also notice the multitude of die in various locations about the table, most of which having more sides than usual for a die. There were four sided dice, six sided dice, and others, with eight, ten, twelve, or even twenty sides. It was clear that this was no business meeting. It was, instead, a game of… Dungeons and Dragons!

"Okay, so we've been persuaded by Toguro, that _really_ annoying NPC Enma came up with, to enter this tournament."

"I'm the Dungeon Master, and I said we needed a powerful reoccurring villain. Toguro fit the bill. If you don't like it, tough," the king of Spirit World interrupted.

"Yes, sure, whatever. Okay, so we're in the Dark Tournament. Jorge, your character, Kurama, has already cleared the first two teams with those other NPC's help. Now we're in the middle of the third team. Boton, your cleric, Gama, just got slaughtered by Kurama, right?" Koenma asked.

"Yes, yes, we know. You don't need to give us a plot recap every time we reach a point where _you_ deem it necessary," Boton complained, sadly eying the character sheets for her dead cleric. "I knew I should have paid that Lawful Neutral cleric back in Yomi's realm the hundred platinum to secure a Raise Dead. But no, I just had to keep it to buy that new warhorse I wanted."

"Your loss. Anyway, it's time for Kurama and Touya's showdown. The odds are, of course, in my favor, Jorge. You can choose to back down and surrender any of your equipment and money I want to me and I'll let you live. Otherwise, you'll end up like Gama," Koenma suggested. "After all, Boton's character did cast Hold Person on you, so you can't move for at least another four rounds, and he also used that special Antimagic Field rune he got from the last dungeon. You can't use any spells or spell-like abilities for another ten minutes…so, one hundred rounds (like it's going to take near that long) and you can't move. Hah!"

"I'm going to make a…Lord Enma, sir, what kind of check do I need to distract his character? Please say Diplomacy…I have seven ranks in that and a plus three Charisma bonus," the ogre asked.

Enma picked up a book labeled _Dungeons and Dragons Player Handbook_ and flipped through the pages. After a bit of reading, he snapped it closed.

"It requires a Bluff check, not Diplomacy. Sorry," he replied.

Grumbling to himself, Jorge picked up the d20 and rolled it.

"Please give me a fifteen or above…" he muttered to himself.

A small number twelve turned up.

"Well, that's a seventeen. I have two ranks in Bluff and a plus three Charisma," he hopefully said.

"So, what's Kurama's bluff?" Boton asked.

"Please, answer me one thing first. Why? The shinobi have always dealt with their affairs in secret. Why expose yourself now?" Jorge decided, throwing his voice out into his "I am Kurama and not Jorge" voice. Koenma snorted. Whether it was at the voice or the distraction, none of the others could tell.

"Now roll for Touya, Koenma. This is a Sense Motive check."

"Good thing I have five ranks in Sense Motive and a plus _four_ Wisdom bonus. It'll be a piece of cake to beat that!" the young prince crowed, rolling the twenty-sided dice. A seven turned up.

"Sorry, but that's only a sixteen. Touya buys Kurama's distraction, but he won't stay distracted for very long, just a d4 rounds.

Enma picked up the pyramid-shaped die and rolled it, a three being the result.

"Okay, make with the conversation or whatever for three rounds."

"For light," Koenma responded, taking up Touya's role.

"Explain," Jorge prodded.

"It's simple. Even the strongest tree will die if left in the dark. I find that to be the best way to describe us: a giant oak crashing through a dark soil bringing order to an otherwise chaotic land. The shinobi have done their job for centuries, and done it well. But in recent years, we have caught glimpses of the outside world, and then asked, "Why not us?" Have we not earned the privilege others take for free? We are entering a new era, and we will begin with a land of our own: this island. It has already been arranged that if we win this tournament, Hanging Neck Island will be our prize. And once this blinding light pours over us all, like branches, we will cover the world."

"Okay, that speech took up your three rounds…and made everyone playing this game bored…so, now you're free from the lie. Continue as normal."

"Let's cease with the conversation. I know that you're simply trying to buy time for that seal to wear off," Koenma continued. "And now that my character's stopped being a retard, we can fight," he added to the others.

"I admit, you've caught me with my hands red."

"Now, you guys fight and whatever. Go!" Enma interjected. "Roll your initiative."

Jorge and Koenma both rolled twenty sided die, with a two and an eighteen respectively.

"Okay, so Touya explains that he's not going to go into close combat with Kurama, and he uses his Wall of Ice spell to freeze the whole arena. I can do that, right, Father?"

"Yes, you can. Casting a Wall of Ice takes one standard action, so what're you going to do with the other?"

"I'm going to try and make an Intimidate check to lower his attack rolls by minus two."

Koenma rolled the die, ending up on a two.

"That…fails miserably, huh?"

"Yeah, and now Jorge's character can move."

"I'll cast Ice Storm on Kurama. My character's modified the spell into horizontal ice shards, but whatever. Shards of Winter!"

"Due to the modifications, you have to roll to hit."

"What's Kurama's AC, Jorge?"

"It's a fifteen, sir."

"How? You only have a plus three Dexterity bonus and a plus one armor class ring that, I do believe, Kurama's currently wearing on his toe to avoid detection by others. How do you have a fifteen?" Koenma demanded to know.

"Kurama has the dodge feat and he chose Touya as his dodge target, granting him a plus one AC against Touya, sir."

"But didn't you pick Gama as your dodge target? You can't have two in the same fight!"

"Actually, yes he can. Jorge's character has the ability to change a dodge target as a free action. He clearly did so," Enma pointed out.

"Damn it. I don't even have a freaking Strength modifier and my Base Attack Bonus is only plus two! This sucks," the prince whined petulantly.

"Just roll to hit already!"

The result was an eighteen, which immediately cheered Koenma up. For damage, however, he was sorely disappointed. Instead of scoring anything high, Touya's Ice Storm only hit for six damage, barely a dent in Kurama's impressive forty-eight hit points.

The battle progressed, with continuous bad rolls for Touya. An eight, a one, an eleven, and a four hardly constitute anything good, since he couldn't even wound the agile Kurama. Meanwhile, Jorge was thinking of a plan to beat Koenma, since if he won this fight the prince of the Spirit World had promised him three days' worth of vacation. Clearly, there were high stakes on this match.

As Koenma's patience, low as it was, wore out, he switched to melee combat, despite his disadvantage in hand to hand combat. If his opponent had no weapon and couldn't strike back, though, it was worth the low chances of hitting for the higher damage rate. Creating a sword out of ice, he ordered Touya to charge Kurama.

"I attack with my longsword."

"As a free action, Kurama casts Plant Growth and creates a sword out of the Deadly Vetch seed he planted in one of his earlier wounds. I made the Slight of Hand check while you were looking up the rules on Ice Storm again. Since I chose to fight defensively this round, I get a plus two to my armor class. Roll it, sir," Jorge said.

Growling, Koenma rolled the die, getting a thirteen.

"Stupid defensive fighting…Roll your attack."

"I declare a trip attack and another attack."

Boton gasped.

"But…doesn't that give you a minus four penalty to your regular attack and a minus eight to your off hand? Add that to your minuses for fighting defensively…" she murmured in disbelief.

"Kurama took the Two Weapon Fighting feat earlier, making it only a minus two to each, so…six with the defensive fighting."

"This is my only chance, though, and I'm going to take it."

A roll of sixteen succeeded, seeing as this was a touch attack, so Koenma's character lost his Dexterity bonus. Touya had a low AC; he had a plus three Dexterity bonus and he wore no armor. Even with his minus four to hit due to fighting defensively it was an easy hit due to Kurama's plus two strength and three BAB. With a roll of two, Touya missed his attack of opportunity against Kurama, and the prince of the Rekai could only grumble about it. An exceedingly lucky roll of fifteen for the trip attempt crushed Touya's opposing roll or thirteen to the ground, and Touya had been tripped.

The last roll hit the table, and all looked to see. A twenty was there, for all to see.

"A critical! And two words, Lord Koenma: sneak attack."

Rolling two d8 and three six sided dice resulted in a crushing twenty eight damage; enough to knock the low HP Touya down to negative two. The move was not without its downside, though; Kurama knocked himself out in the process.

"I win! I win!" Jorge cheered.

"Stupid rogues and their stupid sneak attacks…" Koenma growled.

**-----------------Touya's Point of View-----------------**

_Crap, I have the feeling I just failed a to-hit roll. I hate it when that happens…_

* * *

This story was based off of a personal experience of mine. A level four fighter (sure, not too strong, but my brother always quits at the beginning and I can't find anyone else to play with) with a bastard sword, yet I made crappy to-hit rolls. I almost got myself killed by a half-orc barbarian. Oh well. Please review! 


End file.
